Monday, December 29, 2008

Sorry 2008 (part 2)

I can still remember when I was searching for a gift for my bestest friend last Christmas. We were just having our bad time because of our love lives that are really sucks and cheering each other up again. Yeah, thats why I will never trust human from that time, ever again. I usually hate Christmas and new year, especially when it comes to the end of the year...Here in our world, it really feels lonely, stupid, lonely, meaningful, and lonely. But that December that year really give me a new meaning that I have until this December. It is like its invisible seal that covers it finally opens (or it really does that year, I'm not sure), bringin a new meaning of 'end of the year' for me. Anyway, she really loved that thing and always showing me that she really does, every time we went some place. (I don't really feels like to describe the thing specifically, cause believe me, you won't even able to imagine it, it never exist in human world, till this moment hopefully) So, I think I shud give that as a gift and decided to give that as Christmas present. Silly that we’ve never talked so much since the last time we really talked. It really feels too strange to just talk like normal people does. Maybe we feel we can read each other mind’s so maybe that’s why we never talk so much if there aren’t any people around. But, the atmosphere on that time really bringing something that we never know it will ever exist. The beast that has been sleeping since long time ago.

I think it is since that moment, we begin to start talking openly about everything. We haven’t talked like that for I think since the first time we know each other. Especially on the point when we felt that it is awkward to just do how human usually communicate. Sharing secrets, tips, and we even talk about our human's problem, a thing that we don't suppose to tell each other. We feel that we still care about each other so much by no means of asking each other’s feeling or something like that. After all, we just understand that we can’t live fully without having each other's world. Additionally, I deny that and convinced that it is because of our friendship, not more. I always commit that to my memory and keep telling her not to forget about that. Unnoticeably, maybe that was the hardest time for her whenever she was beside me. I never realize that she even still feels that after a while, or maybe I realized that but keep denying.

As moments flutter, she finally has to left to a place where I will never find her again, back to her place where she can show her real form without have to pretend, and it really broke my heart before knowing that there's a big chance that we will never see each other again. She said it was the best for her to fly far away from our world. She also said that she did that because of her human. I didn't know what does that means before. I was thinking maybe because they have to find another place for them for a better living or something. I didn't even realize that it is to awaken the beast. Ow, I forgot to tell you that we made a promise to find a way to awaken the beast and tell each other how to do it if one of us already knows how to. But that time she told me explicitly, so I kinda didn't sure 'bout it.

That moment, I really felt like the world is coming to an end. Maybe she also did feel that. It just way too taboo to talk while we were still in human world. It was something that suddenly taken away from you, but that's life, you just have to endure. It gets harder soon when she left, feels the same like losing parts of my amulets scattered in a different places. She never told me why and how, just suddenly leave everything behind like that....Soon before she left she promised me something that I would never imagine could came from her lips. So, I really have the call to go half a world away collecting my scattered pieces.

Long story short, one by one I hunted them, step by step I took the pain, pieces by pieces I spilled my blood and shed the tears away. I find it so hilarious when we see our life back again. It feels like it was blown away with winds, yeah the winds of life I guess. Through this year I really learn an important lesson, that, time past so quickly without you even realize that you always going forward. No turning point, like we promised. There’s no such a thing like – “If you can turn back time, what would you like to change?” Life is too short to be regretted, too short to give away your hapiness for someone else that even doen't appreciate it as much as you do. Yet, you just have to move forward and enjoy every scene in your life, good or bad. Yeah, that what I do soon after I realize that all those things I told you before never existed. They are all just me, me, and something inside me.

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