sittin, waitin, wishin

My luvely room on Christmas Eve

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

Rocky Balboa
Speaking to his son in Rocky Balboa (2006)

I just woke up today and woken up by the call as usual, do things that I usually do every time I open my eyes. So much stuff inside my head that I still can't get rid any of it since last night. Talked with many friends and wise guys that I haven't been in touch since many times, kinda weird that they just suddenly popped out of the blue. Told things that is really in the opposite way of what I accept as truth, been in a trash talk, and worried so much about my her feeling so bad. I often feel a fool because of my insensitivity and foolishness. Not been able to realize things that I suppose to realize ahead. Sometimes it feels that I just want to finish this year asap and start it all over again.

Really makes me stunned over some minutes to say a promise that I shouldn’t ever broke. But, it is for the good, so I thought I just give it up for the better. Some reminded me not to say something that you can’t fulfill and will make a disappointment, some said that I should still open myself for every possibilities, some this, some that….I think I just gonna freaked out

Yeah it sucks, really sucks, still having a work to do on Christmas Eve, watching downloaded movies and eating another frozen food, too much to think about, and so worried about many things. So, here I am, laying in my bed writing this crap alone, thx God I still have so many things to be thankful.

Haih, come on Lyx….I hope everything gonna be better soon after she wake up. It feels agony when I know that I open another wound again. A wound that I suppose to heal but it gets into the water again. Maybe it is just a small matter, but I can feel that it is only just the beginning. Yeah, all they said is true; it’s still far away from oath. It is just me that is over confident. Tomorrow will be better than today and I wish us that we can make it through the year.

So, I think I have to start preparing myself for His birthday on midnight. Trying to cheer my self up again...^^ Happy Birthday J, Happy Christmas all